I was just asked by a friend to provide 5 tips on how a man can date a feminist/nontraditional woman. My initial reaction was, “Are we that intimidating?” I am actually amused that there are men who are against dating a woman who wants “gender equality.” You would think by the way some men feel about feminists that the feminists were rounding up men and putting them into torture camps and beating them for being born male. It’s just funny that this is even a question but I decided to go ahead and think up five tips for men to date us very “scary” feminists/nontraditional women.
1. Don’t be sexist.
Sounds simple enough but many men are still learning what sexism is and relearning what is acceptable behavior. A way to avoid saying something sexist to a woman is to remember this basic rule of thumb. Whatever it is, if you wouldn’t say it to a guy, you probably shouldn’t say it to a woman. Example, many men will tell women what a “woman’s place is” or what a “woman should do.” Well, if you wouldn’t tell a man the same thing, you probably shouldn’t say it to her.
2. Be confident.
Empowered feminist women have no interest in men who need their egos stroked to feel “manly.” If you need to be coddled or you need women to “submit” to you because you were born male there’s a good chance you are not confident in your “manhood.” Empowered feminist women are really good at sensing out the men who are not confident in their manhood. Men who are not confident are just not attractive. However, if you are confident in who you are and have no need for women to compensate for your lack of confidence, feminist women will find your confidence attractive.
3. Compliment her.
It is not sexist to give a woman a compliment (just don’t do the overtly sexual thing; those are not compliments). It’s a way of being polite and courteous. It is also ok to be chivalrous to a feminist woman. Chivalry is not dead. “Some men open doors, pull out chairs, and offer to fix things here and there, as a courtesy, and that’s perfectly ok.” Being courteous is appreciated by feminist women. Besides no one wants a rude date.
4. Be open to dialogue.
I find many men who say they do not want to date a feminist woman have no idea what feminism means. Most believe that feminists hate men. That’s not true. The best way to get around this misunderstanding is through dialogue. Ask questions, and then just listen. Men can learn a lot by listening to women. And, before you interrupt a woman, count to 3. Remember, many times men don’t even realize they are dominating the conversation because they constantly interrupt the person they are talking to. Don’t worry, men do this to men too, but since we are talking about dating feminists, make sure you allow her to speak before you interject.
5. Have fun!
Feminist women are awesome to date. Chances are if you go out with a feminist woman you are going to have an exciting time. Feminists tend to be more comfortable with themselves and more open to new experiences. In fact, you may find that dating someone who challenges you to think differently about the world will ultimately give you a more enlightened world perspective. So don’t be afraid, ask that feminist woman out today!
~Kai
Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
