…and by “Us” I mean black women, especially black feminists. Don’t get me wrong, Seales in no way speaks for all black women nor does she represent us. However, her recent behavior regarding Dr. Myron Rolle allows others, who already judge black women harshly, to use her as a poster child for the “angry bitter black feminist” that women like me who are black feminists have to push back against every day.

If you are not aware, recently Seales accused Dr. Myron Rolle of being a sexual predator and saying inappropriate things to her on the phone. Dr. Rolle defended himself against her accusations and recently Seales admitted to having lied. This matter is problematic for so many reasons.

I have to be honest with you, I used to follow Seales on social media; I happened to come across her web show and thought she was funny. Many times I laughed at her posts. However, after a while I started feeling a kind of negative vibe about her that didn’t sit well with me. I couldn’t really put my finger on the issues but it was somewhere between feeling like she was very insecure with very deep-seated issues with men and that she never seemed to empower other women. Basically, I just didn’t feel that the person she represented herself to be online was someone that I should give my attention to. The vibe was off, I followed my instincts, (trust your intuition ladies!), and unfollowed her.

Now over a year later this story breaks and sadly I am not surprised. She, a black woman, has given validity to the argument that women lie about men harassing and assaulting them in order to tear black men down. And, honestly that sucks.

I am disappointed with her behavior and saddened that now I will have to deal with men bringing her up when dealing with problematic male behavior. The truth is sexual harassment and assaults happen to women every day. Lying about being sexually harassed actually hurts the real victims.

What Seales did was absolutely wrong. Accusing anyone of being a sexual predator when they have done nothing to you is downright vindictive and evil. I do believe Dr. Rolle when he said that she did this because he rejected her romantically. What Seales needs to understand is that rejection is not a reason to seek revenge. In addition, because she has such a large platform she needs to be aware that her behavior has ramifications that affect more than just her. She needs to be responsible with her words and actions.

Now, for those men who want to act like this happens all the time, please let me stop you right there. False accusations of harassment and rape are rare. While they do occur they do not occur frequently. No matter what, it is best to err on the side of a woman as being truthful when claiming she has been harassed and/or assaulted than to automatically assume she is lying. The fact is most men who commit harassment and rape will never suffer the consequences of their actions. That’s why the #MeToo movement is so important.

Hopefully Seales will never do anything like this again. And, hopefully we can all move forward and make sure the real victims of sexual harassment and assault get the help they need.


Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!

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