…and by “Us” I mean black women, especially black feminists. Don’t get me wrong, Seales in no way speaks for all black women nor does she represent us. However, her recent behavior regarding Dr. Myron Rolle allows others, who already judge black women harshly, to use her as a poster child for the “angry bitter black feminist” that women like me who are black feminists have to push back against every day.
If you are not aware, recently Seales accused Dr. Myron Rolle of being a sexual predator and saying inappropriate things to her on the phone. Dr. Rolle defended himself against her accusations and recently Seales admitted to having lied. This matter is problematic for so many reasons.
I have to be honest with you, I used to follow Seales on social media; I happened to come across her web show and thought she was funny. Many times I laughed at her posts. However, after a while I started feeling a kind of negative vibe about her that didn’t sit well with me. I couldn’t really put my finger on the issues but it was somewhere between feeling like she was very insecure with very deep-seated issues with men and that she never seemed to empower other women. Basically, I just didn’t feel that the person she represented herself to be online was someone that I should give my attention to. The vibe was off, I followed my instincts, (trust your intuition ladies!), and unfollowed her.
Now over a year later this story breaks and sadly I am not surprised. She, a black woman, has given validity to the argument that women lie about men harassing and assaulting them in order to tear black men down. And, honestly that sucks.
I am disappointed with her behavior and saddened that now I will have to deal with men bringing her up when dealing with problematic male behavior. The truth is sexual harassment and assaults happen to women every day. Lying about being sexually harassed actually hurts the real victims.
What Seales did was absolutely wrong. Accusing anyone of being a sexual predator when they have done nothing to you is downright vindictive and evil. I do believe Dr. Rolle when he said that she did this because he rejected her romantically. What Seales needs to understand is that rejection is not a reason to seek revenge. In addition, because she has such a large platform she needs to be aware that her behavior has ramifications that affect more than just her. She needs to be responsible with her words and actions.
Now, for those men who want to act like this happens all the time, please let me stop you right there. False accusations of harassment and rape are rare. While they do occur they do not occur frequently. No matter what, it is best to err on the side of a woman as being truthful when claiming she has been harassed and/or assaulted than to automatically assume she is lying. The fact is most men who commit harassment and rape will never suffer the consequences of their actions. That’s why the #MeToo movement is so important.
Hopefully Seales will never do anything like this again. And, hopefully we can all move forward and make sure the real victims of sexual harassment and assault get the help they need.
~Kai
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Photo: Instagram
Kai Nicole, thank you so much for writing this!!! I have been saying this for over a year now. I too use to follow Amanda. I unfollowed her last year because of my intuition. Something was off. I feel as though many celebrities and folks trying to get on, attach themselves to popular media stories to get more likes and follows so that they can get more exposure for their brand. In my honest opinion, I feel like that is what Amanda does. I may be wrong and will stand corrected if I am but that is what I believe. I also believe Amanda picks and chooses which celebrities she wants to “expose”. I loathe her phrase, “I be knowin”. Nah sis! You don’t know everything and this phrase suggests that knows the truth about everything. She has coined herself as a warrior of truth but she is still friends with Charlamagne. I do not know what transpired in 2001 with Charlamagne and the then underage girl. I also don’t know what happened in the situations with Dr. Myron Rolle. But Amanda tries to act like she does. I saw her comments in response to her followers asking her about Charlamagne and she said it was never proven so why should we believe it. I think she wants to remain friends with Charlamagne for personal gain. She wants to be able to keep that gateway open to go on the Breakfast Club to get more followers and exposure for her brand. Amanda is problematic and I consider her to be a what I call a social media activist. What actually has she accomplished? In my time of following her, I saw nothing that she accomplished when it came to women’s issue or black folks for that matter. She speaks on an issue but what have you actually accomplished Amanda? In my humble opinion, it is hard for celebrities to be activists. Celebrities are in Hollywood, which is solely about money and fame. You cannot mix the elements of empowering and uplifting Black people and money/fame. Money is the root of all evil and once people have the love of money, they will do anything to obtain. That includes lying and ruining the lives of others. Here is something else I feel needs to be addressed. Amanda has a special on HBO. HBO as a network is problematic to me for many reasons. I will name one. Look up the series Confederate that they are trying to air this year. Why is Amanda not speaking on that? Does she plan to boycott the HBO Network? Nope, because they line her pockets. She is fake woke social media activist. Thank you Kai Nicole for bringing light to these issues.