Failed relationships are not a bad thing. Yes, that statement may seem strange, but think about it, failure is often how we learn in other aspects of our lives. Many of us have had a string of bad relationships; it’s more the norm than the exception. Just know that you should not feel bad about having the experience of a bad relationship…because as we often learn from failure in other aspects of our lives…this is also true when it comes to relationships.

One of the reasons I wrote my book about dating, and not relationships, is because they are two very different things. Dating is getting to know someone. A relationship is the act of being with someone. While many people confuse the two it is important to know the distinction. Even in my own life, I had a lot of success dating, but had not had a lot of success with relationships, even though I had long-lasting relationships.

Our society places a lot of value on people staying in a relationship, no matter what, but not enough emphasis on people being in healthy relationships. There is an enormous amount of pressure on women and men to stick out the hard times. However, there isn’t enough encouragement for women and men to find healthy compatibility. This is why people end up in unhealthy relationships and often end up breaking up.

But, breaking up is ok, because you can learn a lot. You can learn what does not work for you. Basically, you learn what not to do, or what not to tolerate in your next relationship, and that is a great thing.

Remember, the next time your relationship does not work out, do not beat yourself up. Look at it as a learning experience. Remember, it is perfectly fine to not be willing to tough out things that are not working for you in a relationship. Walking away to allow yourself to be happy will always be a good thing. Just make sure you remember the lessons you’ve learned and apply them to your future relationship.

~Kai

Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!

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