Angela S. Holcomb, author of 21 Days to Feminine Magnetism and leader of the “Wifed Up Movement” has recently been “outed.” I was contacted by several parties who revealed to me that while Angela claimed to be married she is in fact not married and that she fabricated a completely fake life online with the purpose of defrauding her followers into believing that since she had a “successful marriage” she could teach others to become wives as well.
Once she was discovered Angela posted an apology letter on her website. (This apology has since been removed). The letter appears in its entirety below:
I am deeply sorry for lying to my community. I have no excuses for my actions. All I have is regret, guilt, shame, and painful lessons learned, and I resolve to do better. My only request is that you allow me to offer you the truth, because that is what you all deserve.
I understand many who follow me are uncertain and confused over recent statements about myself and my brand. It is true that I am unmarried. I apologize for lying to everyone. I especially want to apologize to my moderators who were also blind-sighted like many of you.
I want to also take this time to thank my current and past moderators for all their dedication to my online community and to myself. I am deeply remorseful over the harassment and bullying that my moderators have suffered because of this ordeal. I was deeply saddened that those who were so loyal to me were being unfairly attacked and defamed. I want you to know I truly and deeply appreciate you all for being apart of my life.
I want to apologize to my ex, Omar, for using his images and likeness in my story. I also apologize to him for all the harassment he has endured because of this situation. I am so sorry.
When I first began my Facebook group in February, 2017, I was engaged and had a plan with full details of marriage. I prematurely wrote about my marriage in excitement as if it had already taken place. I was so sure that it would… I also wanted to establish credibility with my young community and tell them about my journey and how I had achieved my goals of marriage. I didn’t think it would go beyond the Facebook group, nor did I want it to.
I started the Wifed Up Movement group because I was in another group where women fervently sought out my posts, devoured my advice and were constantly tagging me and searching for my responses. My inbox was filled with women seeking my advice. I was continually told to start my own group, blog, and eventually I was encouraged to write a book. I followed these recommendations even though I didn’t imagine it would grow into a brand or affect as many women as it did.
My book was published September, 2017. Shortly after that, my engagement ended. I was emotionally torn to pieces. I cried for weeks. While my heart was bleeding in real life, I was praised for my book online. For a little while, I felt better because my book was an Amazon bestseller for two weeks. But that was short lived. I returned to feeling inadequate and like a failure. I struggled internally and continued to question myself. But somehow, I could not escape how the book was helping others. I reluctantly decided to continue the brand.
This is where my ego made the decision to protect its identity and led me to lie. I lied about being married because I was listening to my ego tell me, “How can you tell women how to get ‘wifed up’ but you failed? There is only one way to continue this—LIE. Pretend for the sake of your credibility.” And regretfully, I lied for two years.
Many times, the guilt and burden of what I was doing almost made me want to come clean. But I kept lying. I was afraid to lose credibility. I was afraid to be ruined. I felt trapped more and more as time went by. My brand and my identity was wrapped up in this status.
I was ashamed and angry that my own methods had not worked for me but were steadily working for those who followed me. My heart and brain were heavy with my own confusion and angst. As I write this, my eyes are full of tears because of all the unnecessary time I lived this lie online. I hurt many, but I was hurting myself for no reason.
When I moved to Washington D.C. in Spring, 2018, where I currently reside, I began dating again. I soon became engaged. I figured this second engagement would work for sure. He was so enthralled with me. I was relieved because we were getting married soon and my LIE would become the TRUTH. I began to feel less of a burden because marrying this new man would eradicate the lie and would vindicate me. I would no longer be lying.
However, after 6 short months, we were done. Engagement off. This time, I felt like the wind was knocked out of my soul. My heart, which was barely healed from the previous failure was on the floor looking up at me – bleeding and shattered. I withdrew from the world—online and offline. I spent days in bed. I cried and hated myself to no end. The only thing that helped me was my mother’s constant calls and texts.
So, even though I was dealing with a lot of cognitive dissonance, I kept up the charades to protect the little bit of dignity I had, but mostly because I did not want to disappoint my followers—at least that was my rationale. I would think, “Why can’t I make this work for me? Why? Why am I able to help others but not myself? God why??”
My angst led me to step away from my brand. I did not make any announcements to my mod team but I resolved to stay away from my group. I engaged very little with my brand unless I had one-on-one clients or was doing videos and material for my membership. After all, people had spent money with me. I had to deliver. I needed to escape from my real life which defeated me and made me feel like a failure. I had reasoned that the teacher should be above the student. But I felt so low.
During this time, women were sending me private messages and emails on a daily basis about how my book, community, and blog changed their life…They were now more confident, dating better quality men, ended that terrible relationship, getting engaged, newly married and so forth. I was happy for them. But I still questioned why I could not make it work in my own life. I felt life was playing a cruel joke on me. I supposedly had all the knowledge. But I still had so much to learn.
I had to learn that feeling sorry for myself would rip me away from the joys of life. I had so much to be grateful for, but I couldn’t see it. I also had to learn that life is not black and white. Sometimes, it is gray. And I should not allow my ego to continue to define me on its black and white terms. I see now that I should have done a long time ago what I am doing today—being vulnerable and human with my community. The same vulnerability that I teach about to you all.
Though it has been difficult to face my own flaws, I am glad this came out. I want to thank those who rampaged to “expose” me. Despite their ill intent, I am free. I can now wholeheartedly teach with integrity the message that was bestowed upon me. The message that was covered in my lies, but no longer.
I hope to continue to learn humility on my journey. I have learned the detriment of my ego. I have learned that the road to getting ‘wifed up’ is not straight. It is narrow. It is a winding road that goes up and down. It also goes side to side and oftentimes leaves you at crossroads.
So, despite my own personal feelings of failure and shame in my own life, I still believe that my message of the power of femininity is my life’s purpose. But I also have learned that it isn’t about me. I was given a deep love and understanding of feminine magnetism and the male mind. I am also here to restore polarity—that yin and yang—among the sexes in our “anything goes” society.
I ask that if you believe in my mission, you will continue to grow with me as we spread this message together.
In order to restore trust, and live in my own integrity, I will make my message more inclusive to journeys of all kinds, not just the path to marriage. I will focus on my first love—femininity and debunking the male psyche. There will be many changes for the better in my community. I hope you all will stick around to see them.
I want to also take this time to apologize for the many of you who were unfairly blocked from my Facebook group because of this. I invite you all to send an email to email@example.com with a link to your profile. For those who are still here, who never left, had patience with me, and still believed in me, I am very thankful. I want to move forward with our journey together. I invite you all to help reshape and rebuild a new femininity brand.
Much love to you all,
I gather from those who have contacted me that Angela operates in a similar fashion to Ro Elori Cutno of the #WifeSchoolCult, using bullying tactics and blocking those who question or oppose her.
This is a quote from one of her former followers, Andi, who states that when “I pointed out some of the admins in her group where [sic] accepting low self esteem behavior. I believe it was Loren (? Light skin, chubby) who I later found out was single; the way she gave advice you would have thought she was married. Anyways, later they blocked me because I posted about the things my boyfriend was buying for me which turns out Angela was against men who are not husbands to pay for hair, bills, clothes etc… many of the women began asking how I get him to do things. I posted some links from famous coaches like GL Lambert. Shirley Dee and Bougie Black Girl. Angela shamed me for this she called me a gold digger. I was also slut shamed by all the admins WHO ARE VERY SINGLE and blocked from the group.”
If you have been keeping up with my blogs about these “femininity teachers” then you know this all sounds very familiar. This is big business, selling single women on the idea that they can be taught how to get a husband. As I have said over and over again, and repeat here, there is no class, course, or person that can teach you how to get a husband, no matter how much you are willing to pay.
Below is an exact repeat of what I said on my previous blog discussing this topic:
“Ladies, those of you who are looking for marriage, please understand that no one can sell you anything to enhance your chances of getting married. There are no lessons or secrets to finding a husband. Changing what you wear or how you sit won’t get you a husband. Learning how to drink tea won’t get you a husband. Please stop falling for these scams. There is no right way to a marriage. There is also nothing wrong with being single. Stop selling yourself short because someone tells you it’s not ok to love you for you.”
Please, please, please, stop falling for these scams!
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