I constantly see complaints online from women about horrible dating experiences with men out there who are truly horrible. The text messages posted online give me nightmares. Seriously.
It always brings me back to the same conclusion. Women don’t know how to date. That statement probably makes it seem as though I am blaming women for their dating issues. Not true. You are not the cause of the terrible behavior exhibited by these men. However, you do make the choice to go out with them. That’s a really bad decision. However, there’s good news. With even a slight change in your approach to dating you can have a much better, even great, dating life.
First thing, you should probably give up the online dating sites. I know you don’t want to give up the online dating but seriously, many of these nightmare experiences are coming from dating sites. They are not the best way for women to date. I repeat, dating sites make it too easy for men to get access to women. That means oftentimes men who are using those dating sites are not looking for anything serious. They are just looking to entertain themselves. That means the men swiping to hook up with you are not genuinely interested in you.
Men, when they are genuinely interested, will risk rejection. That is a sure sign of interest. If a man does not risk anything JUST to ask you out, you should probably not accept the date. If a man just has to swipe or push a button or send a dm to let you know he is interested, he hasn’t risked anything. So you should probably pass.
The best way to accept a date is in person. If a man approaches you he is more than likely genuinely interested in you because he is risking rejection in public. If you are online, and a man engages in conversation with you on a public post, he is taking a risk; he is risking public rejection. He is more than likely genuinely interested.
Next, have a meaningful conversation BEFORE you go out with the man. That conversation can be in person or on the phone or even by text. In this conversation there should be some discussion about what, when, and where the first date should be. (If you have this you can avoid parking lot dates, etc.) Now don’t, (I repeat DON’T), reject the coffee date. The point of the date is to get to know him. “Dating is taking time to get to know someone. That’s it.” – Date Like A Woman. Stop making dating more than that.
Which brings me to my final point, stop expecting the world on the first date. Just be open to the possibilities. Having expectations on how the date should be is a sure fire way to be disappointed. Don’t worry about the restaurant or how much he is spending. Just go have fun!
~Kai
Be sure to check my personal blog at FlyMommy.net! And, don’t forget to buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
