While it’s perfectly ok to be single, if you find yourself perpetually single and frustrated, here are 10 signs that the problem may actually be you:
1. You’ve never had a relationship as an adult that lasted longer than 3 months.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, if you have ALWAYS been single and never had a relationship that lasted longer than 3 months in your entire adulthood, there may be something deeper going on with you. It might be helpful to seek therapy in order to identify and work through those deeper issues that you may not be addressing.
2. You always complain about there not being any good men anymore.
As many of you know, I believe that the good guy thing is a fallacy, however, constantly complaining about how every single man you come into contact with is trash is a sure sign the issue is you.
3. You think you should be more desirable than other women because you fit some arbitrary desirable woman stereotype.
Do you believe you have everything a man wants but so far no man has expressed interest in you? While it is perfectly fine to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, believing yourself to be more desirable and deserving of a relationship because you believe you fit some type of “perfect woman” mold isn’t helping your dating life. Compatibility is unique to individual relationships and is vitally important to every relationship, however, creating some stereotype of yourself as the most desirable woman is a setup to a letdown. Being your best you is what’s important, so be yourself.
4. You constantly post on social media your desires to be married.
Men will always check your social media so constantly posting wife or marriage goal memes is probably scaring away the men who could be interested in you. Those posts are indicative of an obsession with being in a relationship. They are not a useful way to find compatibility.
5. You think you’re in a relationship before you are actually in a relationship.
Many women think a few dates means they are in a relationship instead of making sure that the person they are dating feels the same way. Remember until both parties say to each other that it’s a relationship, you are not in a relationship.
6. You share too much about your dating life online.
Do you post as soon as you start dating that you’re in a relationship? Do you also post as soon as it ends? You’re too focused on what other people think about your dating life and not enough on who you are dating. Remember just because you see posts online about other people’s relationships doesn’t mean they have something going on better than you. Many times people are obsessed with appearing to have a perfect life when in reality they are miserable. When you first start dating give it a few months before you announce publicly. This will allow you to truly focus on the person you’re dating and not on what people think about the person you’re dating.
7. You trash your exes.
Listen I know that there are times when people mistreat you, however, if you feel the need to constantly trash your exes then that means you haven’t healed from your past relationships. Learn to let go and move on.
8. You have unreasonable and unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating.
You are looking for a checklist man and you never find him. That’s because what you believe you should get does not exist or if it does he wouldn’t be interested in you. Until your expectations are more realistic you’ll never find a man who is compatible with you.
9. You are unhappy.
Here’s the thing, if you aren’t happy single you will never be happy in a relationship. Good dating experiences and relationships are all about who you are as a person. No one wants to date a person who sucks the air out of the room every time they are in it. So if you’re unhappy, focus on you instead of dating. Find your happiness first. Then date, if that’s what you want to do.
10. You don’t want to be in a relationship.
There is a lot of pressure in our society for women to be in relationships. The problem is there are many women who don’t really want to be in a relationship and are perfectly happy single. However, because they feel pressured, they succumb to trying to meet other’s expectations. If you date because that is what people expect you to do but always find a way to avoid the relationship chances are you simply don’t want to be in a relationship. That’s ok. Never feel bad about being single, especially if it makes you happy!
~Kai
Want to read more dating blogs? Check out DateLikeAWoman.com’ Blog. Be sure to also check out Kai’s personal blog at FlyMommy.net! And, don’t forget to buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
