Not too long ago I came upon a post where a woman stated that men should pay for her ride to get to the date. The post was particularly interesting to me because she did not own a car but nevertheless saw this as an expectation to dating her. It was also interesting that so many women agreed with her that men should pay for women’s ride shares to dates, if as in this case, the woman did not have her own transportation. The woman posting, as well as the women who agreed with her, considered this a “standard” to be met by the men they would date.

I have a hard time understanding why women set “standards” for the men they date, but do not themselves meet their own standards. In this situation, she did not own a car, yet she expected her date to pay for her transportation. Setting or expecting standards from others that you do not hold for yourself is unreasonable. For example, if you cannot pay your own bills but expect the man you are dating to pay them, you have unreasonable dating expectations. You, yourself, should be able to meet any standard that you set for the men you date. Standards have a lot to do with dating circles. Most people date within their dating circle. Chances are if your expectations are beyond your own dating circle, you will probably be disappointed, often because you will have a hard time finding men who can meet your expected standards.

While I see absolutely nothing wrong with a man extending the courtesy of sending a ride for his date, in fact, it’s really nice, to expect it seems extreme. If that is your expectation, a pretty unreasonable one in my personal opinion, just understand that having this expectation may not only make it so you possibly miss out on a fun date because you refuse to simply be responsible for your own basic transportation needs, but also greatly limit your dating prospects.

This highlights another issue. Perhaps dating should not be a priority if paying for your own transportation is a burden. Women, just like men, should put dating on the back burner if financially they are not able to care for themselves. Being able to meet your own life standards should always come first, before inviting someone else into your life, especially if you want to have a fulfilling dating life.

So ladies, meet your own expectations first before imposing them on others. And fellas, feel free to send those Ubers. But, only if you would like to. You will definitely gain some brownie points in the process. Just remember, it is entirely up to you!

~Kai

Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!