To be honest, the fact that this question is even a question in this age is beyond absurd to me. However, the question of a “woman’s place” is still very much a topic of debate.
Everyday I hear men and women discussing how women should submit, serve, and even fix a man’s plate in order to be a good mate. Just today, I witnessed a discussion taking place in which it was touted that women should not talk over a man so as to not make him feel uncomfortable.
It is almost as though we are going backwards instead of moving forward, maybe because we seem to be regressing when it comes to civil and women’s rights in general. The last time I checked, however, slavery was illegal so I am not sure why so many men, and the women who acquiesce, continue to expect and accept these attitudes of subservience.
It reminds me of the “Cosby Show” episode where Mrs. Huxtable told Elvin that she did not “serve” Dr. Huxtable because “serving is the kind of thing that goes on in a restaurant.” In fact, every time I observe these discussions I am reminded that even thirty years after Mrs. Huxtable addressed the issue we still have people who believe that women should be submissive and compliant so as not to offend the male ego.
While I am sure sexist men and #PickMes will disagree with me, a woman in no way should ever be subservient to a man within a relationship…Full Stop. While many may find it hard to believe, it is most possible to have a happy, balanced relationship, where both parties love and support one another without one person being required to submit to the other.
Beyond that, the expectation that women should automatically take a back seat to men has never actually worked without laws that put women in positions of being reliant on men. Those beliefs of the past were backed up with laws that put women into subordinate roles. We need only look at the fact that in recent times as women were able to work outside the home we also began to see a shift in women being subservient to men. As soon as they were able to become financially free, their reliance completely shifted, as well as their tolerance for sexism and patriarchy.
What works for one couple may be different for another. Ultimately, however, a healthy, happy relationship happens when two compatible equals come together and build a committed life together. One day, based on talent, experience, temperament, and capability one person leads. Another day another person leads.
The reality is, both men and women are leaders, not just men. In a healthy relationship no woman should serve a man. Relationships that work are fluid with an ebb and flow. That’s what anyone who wants a healthy relationship should aspire to attain.
~Kai
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