The notorious question of “What are we?” often comes up when one person in a dating situation wants to be in a relationship more than the other. Such dating situations operate similar to a relationship, regular contact, sexual intercourse, integration into the other’s lives, however, the actual statement of “We are in a relationship” or “We are boyfriend/girlfriend” has not occurred. The behavior of operating like a relationship usually confuses the person who wants to be in a relationship because for all practical purposes their interaction seems like a relationship. Often, after some time of frustration the person who desires to be in a relationship will ask, “What are we?” in the hopes that the other person will confirm that they are, in fact, in a relationship.
Here is the problem with the “What are we?” question. If you have to ask, deep down inside you already know there is no relationship. Despite a person’s behavior that makes it seem like you are in a relationship it is important to note that “[a] relationship is an actual stated commitment to one another. So if you and the guy you have been dating haven’t stated to one another that you are in a relationship, you are not in a relationship.” – Date Like A Woman. It is also important to note that dating and relationships are not the same thing. You can date someone you are not in a relationship with, even long term. Without a stated commitment, you are not in a relationship; you are simply dating.
How do you avoid the confusion leading to such questions? If you want a relationship do not operate as though you are in one until that verbal commitment happens. Keep your “relationship” behavior for a relationship. Just date. Don’t put yourself into a position of confusion about your status. Make sure you hear the words before you let yourself become fully involved. If a guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him, and do not get into a one-sided relationship with him.
If you happen to be in a “What are we?” situation, this is the time to walk away. Sitting there waiting and hoping that someone who has no interest in committing to you is going to change his mind is a waste of your time. There are indeed “plenty of fish in the sea.” You are not tethered to just one. So, let go! Oh, and grab my book; it will help you!
~Kai
Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
