Recently the tweets from the twitter account of Leonard Masilela were posted in a Facebook group I belong to. The series of tweets started with “WOMEN should date with multiple men in the same time period if they wish to settle down, a leading relationship coach has advised.” The man who posted the tweets in the group adamantly disagreed with the premise that women should date multiple men and felt that women who did date multiple men were “playing games.”
Of course I feel the opposite way, especially since it is true that men are competitive. Dating multiple men is a very healthy way to find a man who is most compatible with you. It is very instinctual for a man to compete for the affection of the woman he is most interested in. I actually go into depth about this in my book.
However, after this Facebook discussion I started to wonder if men were starting to lose their dating instincts. Has our society gotten to the point where men don’t even feel like they have to work for the woman they are most interested in? And if so, what is the expectation now?
The thought that men are not wanting to pursue/compete for the woman they most wish to be with seems very unlikely but this particular discussion leaves me with the impression that our society is either creating an environment where men feel entitled to women or many men are feeling dejected by dating and are just giving up over time.
I am not sure which one it is but for the time being ladies, keep on enjoying your dating life! Remember “men chase, women choose.”
~ Kai
Lol….I vote for the answer#1… Men feel ENTITLED to “get” women without putting forth much effort s evidenced by online dating stats. The majority of men over are 35 will list their age range for women as 10-20 years YOUNGER. Very few are interested in meeting women their own age or (gasp!) OLDER than themselves. This is due to the fact that by nature, men will do whatever is necessary to get frequent and convenient access to sex. If Marriage is required, they’ll marry. Well, what is required nowadays? Nothing much, not even dinner and a movie! Women are acting like men, hopping in and out of bed with countless men as if 3 dates is a good “rule” for when to have sex. Well, it doesn’t work that way for a woman (or a man) who wants commitment. Nowadays, with the explosion of porn and easy access to scores of willing females through online “dating” (hookup) sites, men don’t HAVE to work for a woman anymore. His drive is primarily for sex, and the long courting phase of “getting to know each other, no-sex so fast” of yesteryear was the actual process by which most men fell in love, hence “falling” in love quite by accident. I’m actually amazed that marriages take place these days. Men are natural conquerors, and women are not. Read the PUA blogs in the internet these days; they are all geared toward teaching men how to get laid, not married. Then, when these men DO decide to settle down at age 30-35, they want a 21 year old virgin to marry, not a sexually experienced older women over 30. Even men in their 50’s-60’s think they are ENTITLED to younger women 15-20 years their junior. Just go online and read their profiles, you’ll see for yourself. So I agree with Kai…, it’s best to get offline, and meet a man in real life, and don’t SLEEP with him until you have the commitment you want! He has easy access to sex already, he doesn’t need it from you. Save yourself for the man who is willing to work to win you.