I saw a post on Black Sports Online last week where a woman proclaims that she is “so beautiful she can’t keep a boyfriend and how ugly women have it better.” Of course, as soon as I saw the title I rolled my eyes. In no way do I believe that physical beauty predicts whether someone will have good or bad relationships. While a general “standard” of “beauty” exists in our society, people in general find different physical features “beautiful” and therefore the thought that only people who don’t fall into a so called “beauty standard” have an easier/harder time dating is just ridiculous to me. Clearly this woman has a hard time dating because she has a character flaw. And, she definitely falls into the “Pretty Girl Fallacy” that I talk about in my book.
People who have a hard time dating usually have issues because their expectations are not grounded in reality. On the other hand I will acknowledge that there is a “beauty privilege” that does exist in our society. I don’t believe that privilege does not make dating harder, nor do I believe that being “beautiful” makes dating easier. I will say it makes dating different.
“Beautiful women” (in quotes because again, beauty standards are subjective) do have experiences that probably do not happen for many women. Women who are considered “pretty” do get a lot of attention. “Beautiful” women are sought after by multiple suitors. I agree that many times “beautiful” women are thought of as conquests. That’s why we have the term “trophy wife.” Many times those men who date beautiful women for attention will parade their “trophies.” Oftentimes men who feel insecure will not even attempt to date a woman he finds “out of his league” because of her beauty.
“Beauty” can definitely be a way to access. It can also be a way that people downplay any other talents or accomplishments. There is an assumption that “pretty” women are not intelligent.
So yes, there is a beauty privilege, but that privilege definitely doesn’t mean that beautiful women are harder to date.
~Kai
I wasn’t going to comment because felt that allot of what you said was true even though in one paragraph for me was missing the reason why. I am commenting on the “Why” in that paragraph.
This,” “beautiful” women are thought of as conquests. That’s why we have the term “trophy wife.” Many times those men who date beautiful women for attention will parade their “trophies.” Oftentimes men who feel insecure will not even attempt to date a woman he finds “out of his league” because of her beauty.” was only a part of it. A trophy wife is a wife for a rich man and those women know what they are and play there part in it. Men know that women want to live the good life and use it to attain that trophy wife. Four of my friends are very rich men and when they didn’t have that money the women didn’t want them. But when they became famous and rich they became sought after by these women. It’s funny that even some of the well-educated women who are beautiful do the same thing. My friend who was an NFL football player didn’t have low self-esteem nor did the other three. They just knew it was apart of the game that is played.