I read your book and I didn’t like it. I feel like you’re telling women to settle. I personally don’t like short guys or men who don’t have their lives together. I don’t feel like I should have to date men who are broke. I believe I deserve more and I didn’t feel your book helped at all.
Signed,
Disappointed
Dear Disappointed,
It sounds like you read my book with the expectation that it would teach you how to get the type of man that you fantasize about. That is not how dating works, and is most likely why you are disappointed. While I am not totally sure what you were hoping to get out of my book, I do not believe that women should settle at all.
In fact, nowhere in my book do I tell women to settle. What I emphasize throughout is to be open when it comes to dating. Many women do not take the time to get to know men simply because they dismiss the men who ask them out at face value because those guys do not fit the imagined ideal of the man they think they should date.
You say that you don’t want to date men who don’t have their lives together or are broke. Are these the type of men you are attracting? If that is the case, it says more about what you project to the world than about them. But, how do you know these men are broke and don’t have their lives together? As I ask in my book, “Who are you rejecting?” How do you know you are rejecting men who don’t have their lives together? What criteria are you using to make your rejections? Do you even go on dates with the men first before deciding they don’t have their lives together?
Women frequently reject men before knowing anything about them. It is possible that you have rejected a man who does have his life together, but because you judged with a very shallow view, you could not see his value. As to your personal dislike of “short guys,” I do recommend that you date someone you aren’t attracted to not as a potential husband, but for you to have dating practice.
In Date Like A Woman I state, “Unrealistic expectations are rooted in a sense of entitlement. Women in our society have gotten to a point where they believe that they are entitled to the man they think they want.” You say that you believe you deserve more. Think about it. What is it that you offer in order to attract the type of man that you feel you deserve?
Date Like A Woman is a book that helps you unlearn what you thought dating was and relearn how to make the most of dating. If you are disappointed, then it is quite possible you are disappointed with dating in general.
~ Kai
