Kai,
Why doesn’t anyone date one person at a time anymore? I don’t want to date more than one man at a time. I just want to date one man. Why is this so hard to find? Please explain.
Tina
Dear Tina,
People still do date one person at a time, when they are in an exclusive relationship. However, I think you are asking why don’t people just “date” one person at a time during the “getting to know” you phase.
Well, it’s just not a very smart way to date. Men have been dating multiple women for a long time, and as I discuss in my book, “Dating is a numbers game for women too.” – Date Like A Woman. Like men, women increase their chances of finding a man who is most compatible with them when they increase the number of men they date. It could happen that you will meet a person who is greatly compatible with you right away, but it is highly unlikely.
I understand that you, along with others, do not like the idea of dating this way. This is usually because many people make the assumption that dating multiple people is synonymous with having multiple sex partners; that is not always the case. Just as it is perfectly fine to date one person at a time, it is perfectly fine to date more than one person at a time. What is critical to remember, however, is that until it is stated by both parties that you both are in an exclusive relationship with one another, you are NOT in a relationship. The “We went out once so now we are together” fallacy, is common with women, “Dating Fallacies” – Date Like A Woman.
You are not alone in thinking this way. Most women have been raised to believe in only dating one man at a time; our culture has taught women that it is most ideal. It isn’t. It is also not surprising that those who have benefited the most from women dating this way are men.
However, if you do not feel comfortable dating more than one man at a time, don’t. Never feel that you have to do something you do not want to do. Just keep in mind taking your time to get to know the man you are dating. Do not assume you are in a relationship because you are dating. And, don’t feel bad about moving on if you find that the man you are dating is not compatible with you. Just keep it light until you find someone who is right for you.
If you date this way you should be just fine.
~Kai
Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
