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Here are the 5 main types of men who watch your social media, whether you asked for the attention or not:
1. The Superfan Stranger
This guy lives in your comment section. He likes every single thing you post, whether it’s a selfie, a salad, or a blurry meme at 2 a.m. He doesn’t know you personally, but in his mind? You’re already in a deeply committed spiritual relationship. You are perfect. You are untouchable. You are his muse. He believes you can do no wrong, mainly because he’s never actually met you.
2. The Sneaky Lurker
He sees everything, every post, every reel, every comment, and yet barely interacts. When he does “like” something, it’s the least controversial post possible (like a photo of a tree or your cat). Why? Because he’s lowkey crushing… and highkey trying to stay under the radar. Odds are, he knows you in real life. Some of these guys are married. Some are just shy. All of them are in denial about being caught lurking.
3. The Flirty Commenter
He’s here for one thing: your hot pics. Every time you post a thirst trap, he’s in your DMs with flame emojis and compliments like, “You been working out?” or “You making it hard to focus.” He’s not subtle. He’s not shy. He’s basically social media’s version of “hey big head.”
4. The Hate Watcher (aka Red Pill Romeo)
He disagrees with everything you post, especially if it’s empowering, intelligent, or joyful. He follows you just to argue, drop unsolicited opinions, or question your existence. What he won’t admit is that he’s deeply attracted to you. But instead of therapy, he’s chosen internet trolling as his coping mechanism. Sad.
5. The Stealthy Stalker
This is the ex, the almost, or the guy you ghosted who still watches everything but never interacts. He’ll never like, never comment, but he’s absolutely there. Watching. Silently seething every time you post a story in a new outfit or look happy without him. He knows if you catch him peeking, he’s getting blocked immediately, so he watches from the shadows like it’s his part-time job.
~ Kai
