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I got this comment on my video “Men, Leave Women Alone“.
The simplest answer to this question is it is okay to approach women in places made for social interaction. Specifically, that would be bars, nightclubs, festivals, conventions, and places where people are there to meet people. That said, while these places are made for social interaction that does not mean that all women are open for you to approach them. On the flip side places that may seem social like the gym, grocery store, or public transportation are not the best places to approach women.
The most essential skill in approaching women is knowing how to “read the room” and understanding whether it’s okay to shoot your shot. That skill is understanding body language/nonverbal signals. As a woman what I find most interesting is that so many men have a hard time understanding the subtle art of body language. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen men speaking to a woman who is obviously uncomfortable. The better a man is at learning these nonverbal signals the better he will be at knowing when it’s ok to approach a woman. Here are a few tips for men to know when not to approach:
It’s also important to remember that women do not owe you their attention. I find a lot of the men who are declaring they are never speaking to women again or that women are ungrateful for their attention believe that if they approach a woman “nicely” or pay her a “compliment” that women are obligated to reciprocate, we are not. Women are free to reject men, and men need to be comfortable with being rejected. Many times women feel obligated to continue conversing with men out of fear because rejected men can be a very real danger to women, but the uncomfortable body language will always let you know she isn’t interested. Men need to learn how to take rejection from women without responding with violence. Violent men are the reason why so many women don’t like men approaching them in the first place.
There you have it, where to approach women but most importantly understanding body language/nonverbal signals is the best skill in understanding when it’s ok to approach a woman!
~ Kai
Very true. Generally speaking I avoid approaching women in public for these very reasons. Why would I want to have an awkward and unwanted conversation with a stranger? I might say hi if we’re stationary in a line or something, but other than that, I leave them be.