I ran across a post on Facebook the other day where a guy described going to a “meet & greet date” (whatever that is…) where he met a woman who had also brought her friend along. He offered to buy the women drinks but told her friend to “slow down” when she ordered appetizers and entrees. Seeing that the women were ordering food and that he had not offered to purchase their meals, he found the waiter, paid for those items that he had ordered and then sneaked out the back door. In his post he seemed to be looking for validation as to whether his behavior was appropriate.
It wasn’t surprising to see so many people agree with his assumption that the women wanted him to pay for their food. I, however, thought his behavior was not only cowardly, but that he had made a false assumption and possessed an inability to effectively communicate.
Further, this story got me to thinking about how many times men, who are not wealthy by any means, believe that somehow women are after them for their “money.” He automatically assumed these women wanted him to pay. Not once did the thought cross his mind that they were out enjoying themselves on their own dime. And, it’s not unusual for men to have this attitude. You see these videos and posts all the time portraying women as “gold diggers.” It is truly amusing because the men who complain the most about gold diggers are not themselves rich.
Give me a moment to explain. Here’s the thing. Fellas, if you are not wealthy, e.g. your income is not in the top 5%, gold diggers have absolutely ZERO interest in you. That’s correct. Gold diggers are not checking for you at all. Gold diggers look for men who can support their entire lifestyle. For the most part single men are barely able to support their own lifestyle so there really is no worry about women wanting you for your money. Gold diggers want rich men. If you are not rich, relax.
I am not sure where this delusion that women are looking to get money from men with average incomes came from but it really needs to stop. Women have their own money, many times more money than men. In fact, women probably should be more aware of men coming after them for their money than the other way around. So fellas, if you are not rich and you find a woman who shows interest in you, there’s a strong chance it’s because she really likes you, not because she wants your money.
~Kai
“Gold-diggers” may not want men without significant income, true.
Unfortunately many “non-Gold-diggers” expect men to pay for beyond their understood share on a date or in a relationship.
I did not read the post you speak of, but I wonder why this man agreed to host this woman on a date along with her friend. For safety I can see a woman bringing her friend along. But for them BOTH to order “appetizers and entrees” while on the date was exploitive of the women.
And it was ignorant of the man to allow this to happen but not “cowardly” in my opinion for him to stop it (according to your retelling, he paid for it then dipped out; call that what you want).
Let’s assume as stated that these were independant, higher earning women. Why did they decide to not pay for their own “drinks, appetizers & entrees” if they got it going on like that? The man in question offered to pay for drinks and these women decided to take advantage of his generosity.
I’m saying that they’re gold-diggers. But they’ll take free meals from broke figures.