I know it’s been a LONG time since I wrote a blog. My apologies, life was happening and I had to keep up. However, for my first blog of 2022 I wanted to talk about the importance of healthy relationships. Now if you read my book Date Like A Woman you may remember I said this in my introduction, “this is a book about learning to date, not a relationship guide; I know how to date. Relationships are a whole different topic.” I was right, and I have always treated dating and relationships as two very different subjects, because they are. In fact, I said I would write about relationships once I experienced a healthy one. Well that day has come. (And YES! I am working on a relationship book. 😊)
Some of you may follow my social media and know that my partner and I celebrated our 4th anniversary this past weekend. (That’s us in the photo!) For the first time in my life I am in a healthy relationship. What makes it healthy you may ask? Well for one I have not experienced any of the turmoil that I have in my past relationships. No fighting, no drama, no gaslighting, no animosity, no contempt, no mess! This doesn’t mean we don’t have any problems but the problems we face come from outside of our relationship. And this doesn’t mean we never have any disagreements, but those minor disagreements never rise to arguments or hurtful words. Basically, a healthy relationship feels safe, a place of comfort from the outside world. We never try to harm each other because we view our relationship as our safe haven. A place where we can fully be ourselves. A relationship that is a safe haven is something that I believe is most important before getting into a relationship. You should ask yourself before jumping into a relationship, are you safe there? If not, pass. Seriously, pass.
And remember single life is NOT bad! What I do know from my past unhealthy relationships is that I was happier single. My life thrived when I was not in a relationship that tore away at my self esteem. This is something that I really want women to understand, life in a bad relationship is always worse than being single. You will never flourish with someone who drains you. It’s not worth it.
So going forward as you date remember, if it’s not a healthy relationship, stay single!