Kevin Hart made an apology on his Instagram last night for cheating on his wife. Since then I have seen many comments from men saying how it’s harder for men not to cheat, especially when they are famous.
Let me stop y’all right there.
People, that’s men and women, choose to cheat all the time. Cheating unfortunately is not uncommon. Because one is born male does not make it more difficult for him to CHOOSE not to cheat. It doesn’t. And, if you think that it does, that means you think men are incapable of self-control. That is a sexist belief.
Men, just like women, have the same ability to not cheat. Cheating is a choice; it is not a reflex. I totally agree that because Kevin Hart is famous he has more opportunities to cheat than Joe at the post office. But, Kevin has the same choice as Joe to not cheat. It’s just that easy. Stating that men cannot control themselves is a common theme in sexism. That’s why when women are raped a common question is, “Well, what was she wearing?” because apparently men rape because they are enticed. This is also why school dress codes police girls’ clothing because apparently boys are incapable of studying if they see a girl in shorts…
Just as some blame rape victims for wearing the wrong clothing, telling girls they are making it hard for boys to learn, there are those who say, “Well the woman ‘tempted’ Kevin Hart,” denying the fact that he had a choice whether to act or not. No matter how big the temptation, it is always a choice whether or not to act. Yet, it seems, anytime a man makes a mistake in his marriage the blame is almost ALWAYS placed on the woman.
Sexism absolves men of culpability for their actions almost 100% of the time. “He couldn’t help it; the woman tempted him;” “his wife wasn’t paying enough attention;” “it’s too hard for him not to cheat…”
The reason why so many men (and women) make excuses for this type of behavior is because men know they can get away with it. Sexism always seems to find a way to tell men that their behavior is out of their control. Well, that’s not true. Men are not some primitive species with no ability to choose to behave properly; they are capable of self-control just like women. So, let’s just say that Kevin Hart didn’t lose control, but did exactly what he wanted to. He just got caught.
~Kai
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