One of the complaints that I often hear from men is that women now seem angry or hostile towards them. Many men see feminism and the #MeToo movement as a movement against men. Even in my own experience men often accuse me of being “angry.” It seems to be almost a reflex for men to call women angry, when women simply speak, passionately.
As I began to deeply analyze what was going on, why men so often perceive women as angry, I began to understand what is truly happening. Men have a hard time seeing women outside of their own male perspective. To be more clear, because of sexism, men have been taught that women’s behavior is directly correlated to men’s, that everything women do is for men. Further, when a woman’s behavior does not fit within the male perspective, it is automatically labeled as angry or hostile.
I wrote this on my Facebook page this morning: “A lot of men feel that a woman is angry or hostile when the woman does not behave the way the men anticipated or expected her to. This is because sexism has created a society which teaches men that women’s behavior is for men. For example, that’s why men get upset when they compliment a woman and she doesn’t respond positively to his compliment. In men’s minds they think women dress for the admiration of men and they are doing the woman a favor for noticing her appearance. So when the woman does not respond positively to their compliment they think the woman is angry. This is not the case. The response is not anger or hostility, it is indifference. The woman simply doesn’t care what the man thinks. This is difficult for many men to understand.”
This failure of men to recognize that women behave independently of men creates the perception for many men that every action that does not include them or benefits them is hostile. This misperception also creates issues in dating and relationships.
Men, as a whole, need to change how they interact with and treat women. Sexism has created an environment in our society in which women are forced to navigate men’s emotions and perceptions constantly. Men have not been held accountable for their behavior for centuries, and while women are often accused of hostility towards men, in reality it is often men who are hostile, so hostile, in fact, that women many times have lost their lives because they rejected a man’s advances. Basically, men have to change how they view women. Men must recognize that women are people.
By recognizing the humanity in women men will be able to see that women as a whole are not hostile towards men. They will also be able to understand that feminism and the #MeToo movement are not out to erase men or harm men but to simply empower women.
~Kai
Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
