There was a time when men showing up on a first date were expected to bring flowers or candy (or at least that’s how it was portrayed in the movies). Of course, times have changed. There is not so much an emphasis placed anymore on bringing gifts on a first date.

Recently, I got into some interesting discussions online. As it turns out, first date gifts are still around, (Even I have been pleasantly surprised to have received gifts on first dates, ranging from flowers to jewelry). These online discussions, however, have hit a nerve, unmasking some interesting points of view, ranging from those who feel men giving gifts on a first date are weak, to men trying to buy affection from women, to men who actually enjoy giving gifts on the first date.

So, here’s the question. Should men give a gift on a first date?? Well, honestly fellas, that’s up to you. Here’s what I do know about giving first date gifts. It’s not the cost of the gift that makes women appreciate it, it’s the thought behind it.

Many of the women I talked to who received first date gifts had lasting impressions when the gift they received was personalized for them. Many of those gifts were not anymore expensive than a bouquet of flowers. They ranged from their favorite candy to their favorite perfume. As far as jewelry, it does not have to be expensive as long as it is something personal (favorite color, initials, etc.). On the flip side though, when men gave gifts to women on a first date just to give them, with no thought behind them, for example, stuffed toys, (unless the woman actually likes stuffed toys!), they did not leave an impression.

So here’s what you should take away from this blog:

Men, if you do decide to give a gift on a first date, do not give a gift to impress a woman, give a gift to leave an impression. Put some thought into what you give. If you do, she will remember you forever…and it will get you to the second date.

Women, don’t expect gifts on a first date. Again, do not expect gifts on a first date! If you have read my book you should already know that when it comes to dating you should expect nothing…”Nothing. That’s right, nothing except meeting up with someone new.” – Date Like A Woman. However, if a man does show up with a thoughtful gift, something that shows he listened to you or noticed things about you, no matter if the gift is inexpensive or expensive, that means there is something about that man worth getting to know. He is exhibiting genuine interest in you and that is someone you should pay attention to.

The best thing about the well thought out first date gift for both men and women, it makes a wonderful story! Just keep that in mind.

Happy Dating!

~Kai

Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!