I recently watched Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk with Gabrielle Union. It reminded me of how much women really need each other and that women need to see each other as allies. I wrote a similar blog a couple of years ago but decided to share this with you today.
Have you ever noticed how girls are taught to dislike other girls? And, for petty, silly things too. Like she’s pretty, or some boy likes her. Meanwhile, boys can fight and still be friends. Yes, this crazy behavior is taught. Just watch any show that caters to a female audience. It’s sad. Girls are taught from a young age to dislike one another, to suspect one another, to not see their greatness together. Sexism, like racism, is a mechanism of control. Keep girls and women controlled, keep the power.
It is vitally important to encourage healthy friendships with one another and most especially with our girls. The truth is women make better teams, a threat to the sexists. The only way to completely break sexism’s hold is to make sure we build women’s friendships and keep them strong.
Women need women’s friendships. Women support one another in ways that male friendships do not. Sexism in society creates an environment that encourages girls and women to compete with one another, to not support one another. Why? Because, women united together are powerful.
This is not to say that every woman will be best friends with every other woman. However, teaching our daughters that women’s friendships can and do happen is one way to make sure we create and sustain bonds with other women. And, these bonds can be great! I encourage my daughter to have friendships with other girls, to empower each other, to realize that there is no competition, because together girls are stronger.
The first step to achieving this goal is to unlearn what we have been taught. Lots of women are unaware of being programmed, not realizing that they look at other women suspiciously. In fact, the next time you meet a new woman, instead of allowing a negative thought to take hold about her, purposely find something positive about her. Focus on that. As you do this, you will come to realize that you may have been prone to initiate negative exchanges with other women. Societal programming is real. Going forward, endeavor to create bigger circles of friendships with women. It is rewarding.
Greater circles of friendships with women means less misinformation about each other. Think about who the misinformation benefits. Usually it’s no one…or some guy. The more we eliminate false information the stronger the bonding, leading to more positive experiences and greater growth.
While sexism may create mechanisms of divisiveness that encourages women to dislike and compete with one another, women’s friendships, becoming allies, on the other hand, creates bonds of strength that make the world great!
~ Kai
P.S. Shoutout to my girls! Love you all!
