Good Morning World!!
“I’m a charming mother******.” – My Dad
Baby Me with my Dad!
Today is the 20th anniversary of my dad’s passing. To be honest I have been feeling melancholy this past week. The thing about losing anyone, especially a parent is that the grief never really goes away. Grief is ever-present it’s just that some days it’s worse than others.
When you are a child you don’t think of your parents as anything other than your parents. The truth is we don’t actually know who our parents are we just see them as who they are to us. I don’t think I even noticed this until I became a mom and realized that my daughter didn’t know me as a person, she only knows me as her mom. However, over the past 20 years, I have had time to reflect on my father as a person.
I can honestly say my dad wasn’t the best, and he wasn’t the worst either, however, after having time to reflect on his life, I do believe he did the best he could given how his parents raised him. And that’s the best any of us can do as parents.
There are many things that I got from my dad that I appreciate more than ever now. I inherited his sense of humor and his charming personality. People like hanging out with me the same way they liked to hang out with him. (Of course, my older brother got a double dose of his charm…) But my humor, and my love of comedy, especially standup comedy, all came from my dad. He introduced me to Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Moms Mabley, and Redd Foxx… on RECORDS. Probably at an age many would consider inappropriate but I have never stopped loving comedy and humor.
My dad’s love of music is also something he passed on to me. Jazz, funk, and R&B music were a constant in his home. Music is also a constant in my home. Some people know about my love and knowledge of music but many have no idea how deep my knowledge is. I acquired this knowledge from him. (If you want a full experience as you read this, play this in the background.)
You may or may not notice that I am a photographer. My dad taught me how to take photos on a 35mm camera. (I also know how to develop film!) It was something that we did together. While he was a very popular doctor in Washington, D.C. I believe at his heart he was an artist. There’s a lot of pressure especially back when he was growing up to find a “career” that was “acceptable” (plus his dad was also a doctor.) and being in the arts, while accepted in some circles, wasn’t the most popular option for his age group. But when I think about him as a person now, his artistic side truly stands out.
My Dad (second from left) on Chicken Bone Beach in the 1950’s.
And my love for the beach is DEFINITELY something I got from my dad. He was born and raised in Atlantic City, NJ. He took us to Chicken Bone Beach every summer as kids. Spending endless hours sitting on the beach is something I will never tire of and I can say it’s because I spent endless hours on the beach as a child with my dad.
On this 20th anniversary of his death, I think the thing I want to say the most is I love you Dad and I miss you dearly.
Hopefully one day we do get to see our loved ones who have passed again…
I know today’s message is a bit heavy but I am still wishing you all a wonderful Monday! 😊
~ Kai
