In our 21st century world of…the Internet, social media, smart phones, video chats…we have also created a whole new dating world. Access is greater than ever, yet connections are somehow way off. On top of that we have the question, “to sext or not to sext?”

Let’s face it, one of the first things many men may ask for during the “get to know you stage” is pictures, and not just any pictures, the racy kind. I cannot answer why men are so fascinated with pictures but what I do know is that they are.

Since technology has made it easy to send intimate photos, sexting has reached ever growing heights of popularity. Many women, however, are still a bit baffled when it comes to the sexting world, so I’ve decided to put together a quick guide of dos and don’ts:
 

Don’t sext if you are under the age of 18! Period. Full stop!

I know a lot of young girls are under heavy pressure to send nude photos to teenage boys. Not only is this a terrible idea for a young woman, (because younger men are immature and more likely to share those photos with their friends), it’s also illegal. So, don’t do it. (Really, if you are under 21 it’s a pretty bad idea too…).
 

Do ask him to send photos first.

Any man asking for photos should be willing to show off his “assets” first. If not, you may want to pass on sending photos to him.
 

Don’t send fake photos.

While many women may be tempted to just grab some pictures they found online and send them, if this is a guy you are really interested in, then your deception may come back to hurt your relationship later. Remember, be honest!
 

Do only send what you are comfortable sending.

That means never ever EVER feel pressured to send any photos that you do not feel comfortable with the recipient seeing. Many times women feel pressured to do things to keep a man interested. If a guy stops talking to you because you wouldn’t send him pictures, he is manipulative, and you are better off without him. If you don’t want to send pictures, don’t.
 

Don’t send nude pictures with your face in them to any man you do not fully trust.

That means if it is not a solid relationship, you should probably just pass on those fully nude photos just in case things don’t work out. You do not want the misuse of those photos to come back to bite you later.
 

Do send photos that make you feel good about yourself.

It’s good for women to feel sexy and confident. It’s also healthy. So, here is your chance to put your photo skills and angles to work! Show off those assets! Let him know what you are working with! And…remember…sexy pictures do not HAVE to be naked. Lingerie and swimwear pictures work just as well.
 

Don’t send pics with bad/filthy surroundings.

That means, do not take pictures in dirty rooms or with filthy mirrors. Whatever you send is a representation of you and, well, if you send a messy picture, it just makes you look bad.
 

Do use disappearing photo apps.

If you really do not want your photos to be permanently available to the recipient get an app where they cannot save your photo. (Of course, as with anything online, there is always a way to retrieve it. However, for the most part these apps do work).
 

Don’t get upset if you do not get the response you would like.

Sometimes men say stupid things. It happens. If a guy says something dumb after you send him a sexy picture, don’t take it to heart. Also, beware of manipulation. Some guys will use backhanded compliments to get to you. Do not let them! (I talk about backhanded compliments and manipulation in my book!).
 

Do use sexting to add some excitement to your dating life.

If you find a guy you really like enough to sext with, go ahead. You can have a lot of fun with it!

 
Happy Dating!

~Kai

Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!