After reading your blog about Kevin Hart I want to know how do you stop a man from cheating?
(Anonymous)
Dear Anonymous,
The short answer is, you can’t. As I say in my book, “Men go willingly to where they want to be.” That’s right, men go to where they want to be. If a man wants to cheat, he will, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
But, let’s be real, the blame for a man’s cheating very often is placed on the woman. Typical excuses are, she wasn’t “enough” for him and that’s why he cheated, or, it was the other woman who “stole” him. This is why so many women think they can prevent a man from cheating. Not only does society act like it is a woman’s job to keep a man from cheating, it also uplifts a woman who works past a man’s infidelity. There is so much praise for a woman who hung in there once a man cheated on her. Conversely, women who cheat do not get such support. Neither do the men who stay with them. It can be easy for a woman to think that she is responsible for a man’s good or bad behavior simply because of the way in which society treats women. Women are not responsible, men are, for their own choices and behavior.
The truth is, however, cheating is quite common, and it’s committed by both men and women. Bottom line, the only person who can stop someone from cheating is the person who is doing the cheating. One thing that may forestall infidelity is to be open to your partner’s talking to you about their needs and desires. Openly communicating about one’s needs will allow you both to understand each other better and help fulfill each other’s needs. In general, couples who are able to talk to each other openly have fewer infidelities.
Unfortunately though, many times people do not openly communicate in their relationships for fear of judgment. It is important that if you allow your partner to open up to you, that you do not judge them for sharing. This is a sure way to hurt your partner. Once someone feels judged and hurt, they are less likely to share in the future. Open communication is difficult. For many people, however, it is the best way for all to stay on the same page and possibly avoid a situation of disloyalty.
~Kai
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