I keep seeing posts about women having a much more successful dating life if they make the first move. I also see lots of men agreeing and telling women that they should “ask men out” first. Let me stop you fellas right there…

While making the “first move” is definitely effective, I think many are confused as to what “making the first move” actually means. Let me clarify. Making the first move is NOT asking a man out. I repeat, making the first move is NOT asking a man out. So, men let’s calm down. You still need to ask women out.

For women, making the first move is putting yourself in situations where the man you are interested in CAN ask you out. That means sending the signals that lets him know you are receptive to his advances. Men are often intimidated or afraid of rejection and will pass up opportunities to ask you out if they feel their attempts may be futile. So, giving a man the “green light” is important, letting him know that if he does show interest in you, you will be receptive.

Flirting, showing up in places where he can chat with you, even initiating a conversation, making him feel comfortable with you, is making the first move. And, yes it is very effective! However, asking a man out is still a bad idea. Why? Because, when a man asks you out, that is the most effective way for you to know he is genuinely interested in getting to know you. Sure, men love when women ask them out. But, if a man does not ask you on a date he may not be genuinely interested in you. That’s something you need to know. It’s basically the same thing for women; women need to send signals to men that lets them know they are receptive to them, while men need to send signals to women that they are genuinely interested.

It’s like I say in my book, “men go after who they want” – Date Like A Woman, especially when they know who they want wants them back.


Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!


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