If you have read my book and have been following my blog you know that I do not recommend online dating for women. You can read my blog about it here. If you are wondering why, the short answer is that online dating makes dating too easy for men. However, that does not mean women should not date men they meet online.
Let me explain. There is a difference between dating men you meet through a dating site/app and dating a man you just happened to have met online. Why? When you date online you sign up for a dating site/app in the “hopes” of finding love, delivered to you through dating “possibilities” that you pay for. The longer you are there, the longer they make money. In order to make as much money as possible dating site/app companies want you to look for love for as long as possible.
Most people are unaware that the dating site/app industry is worth 2 billion dollars, (TWO BILLION DOLLARS). That’s a lot of people looking for love. They do not make that much money by making finding love easier. They make 2 billion dollars because most of the people there will never find love. Don’t get me wrong, even I know several people who have married someone they met through a dating site.
Dating sites/apps have a 5% success rate. So yes, there is a 5% chance you can find love through a dating site/app. But, here’s the thing, men know you signed up looking for love, too. However, not that many men sign up looking for love. I have a male friend who called online dating “space age pimping.” Most men on dating sites/apps are looking for easy access to women. And it works. It’s like a fantasyland for men, women at their fingertips waiting for a guy who fits a certain “profile” to ask them out. Men know exactly how to fit that “profile.”
On the other hand, you can also just happen to meet a man online to date because meeting people online nowadays is as normal as meeting people offline. Online interaction is part of our culture. Dating someone you happen to meet online is different from dating on a dating site/app. The men on the apps automatically know you are looking for love. So they are going to bring out their best “representative” for you. If you happen to meet someone online, (not some random guy who slides into your dms…don’t date those…), chances are you met because of some common interest.
If you do meet a man online it is important to make sure he shows you genuine interest in the same way as he would in person. As I like to say, “Shoot your shot in public so I know it’s real.” If he takes the time to engage you in conversation, out in the open, chances are he might be worth taking some time to get to know. He is risking rejection in front of the world and most men will not risk public rejection unless they truly want to get to know you. That is why men, in general, only approach women in person when they actually want to get to know them. Men who are genuinely interested in getting to know you will approach you; men who are just looking for a “good time” won’t. It’s pretty simple. Genuine interest will always improve your dating experiences.
So, if you really want good dating experiences (first get my book!), ditch the dating sites/apps. Talk to men out in the open. See who shows you genuine interest and get to know him.
~Kai
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