Hi Kai,
I don’t have bad dates as much as no dates! I have had really bad confidence issues in the past but I’m a thousand times better than I was and work has finally calmed down after a crazy few years. I’ve tried online dating and got nowhere, or nowhere good, and when I go out and try and meet people nothing really happens. A hopeless romantic losing faith would appreciate any advice!
Jess
Hi Jess,
Well, the first thing I will say is that you made the right step by regaining your confidence! In fact, confidence is essential for attracting people to you. As I state in my book, “Confidence makes you more attractive.” –Date Like A Woman. Many people, unfortunately, do not make the connection that a person suffering from confidence issues will end up having negative dating experiences. So, great for you! I am very happy that you worked on that first.
Now, to the dating. If you’ve read my book, then you would know I do not recommend online dating for women, although I know many people have found their spouses online and swear by it. However, the facts are that online dating is successful only about 5% of the time. That means 95% of the time it is not successful. Furthermore, that is by design. Online dating companies make money from people searching for love, not actually finding it. That’s why they charge a monthly fee. In addition, the men who use online dating for the most part are using it for easy access to multiple women. Before online dating men had limited access to women and since dating is a numbers game, online dating has made dating great for men. Suddenly now men are able to make contact with more women than ever before.
You are probably wondering, “Well, what can I do?” I honestly don’t have an easy answer to solve this for you because dating is personal. You will have to find what works for you. However, one thing I do know is in order to meet men (or women!), especially quality men, you have to go out. Men won’t have the opportunity to show interest in you if you are not where they can actually meet you. Of course, when I say go out that does not mean you have to go to a club, (unless that’s something you like), but you do need to be in the places where men can meet you. And, these places should be places that you enjoy.
I suggest that you grab one of your girls and head out to relax. For example, choose a music or food festival and just hang out. Give yourself time. Find those things that you truly enjoy where there will be other people around. When you are having fun you will attract fun; if you are doing the things you like you will meet those who like the same types of things. That means, when you do meet someone, you will start out with something in common.
For more tips on getting on the right track, pick up my book! It is replete with creative, (some have even said hilarious) ways, to get your dating life going in the right direction!
~Kai
Follow me: @KaiNicole on Twitter, @KaiFlyMommy on Instagram. And, buy the best dating book for women, Date Like A Woman!
